Chapter 10

An Example of Real Hunger

In order to express how the prisoners long to “eat,” I will tell you a story that may make you sick to your stomach or perhaps you will burst into tears. 

One day two old men were on duty during the time we left our cell to “let in the fresh air” and defecate.   They had to turn over two heaps of manure and dump the closed bucket stools into a pond. Then came the sound of  “return.”  But, only one stool was totally empty and the cover put on.  They had to immediately return to the prison room.  The guard went out of the room holding the door lock and gave each a hit on the head with the heavy lock and he kicked the last two men. They staggered into the room and one, losing his balance bumped one of the uncovered stools against a metal pail of maize gruel that had been put before the bed. A drop of night soil splashed down the metal pail of maize gruel, which was our next meal. This young man in a state of confusion bravely yelled out, “Something terrible has happened.”  He was thinking of just mixing it in the maize gruel. The other man yelled, “No.”  He had a better idea, to dredge up the night soil with a ladle. Then they distributed the maize gruel and we all ate it as if nothing terrible had happened. This experience of such great hunger and lack of pride will always be branded on my memory.  How great was our need for nourishment.

While in prison, I always regretted the years that I had not eaten breakfast, which I seldom did in my early life. One day at 5:00 AM the maize gruel had been set out the door. We saw its steam at daybreak and smelled it scent. We were all hungry and I would also say, greedy. I took an oath that day that if I were to survive prison, I would regularly take breakfast every morning and remember what all I had suffered and survived. Breakfast has been a good time to daily look at my life and value the wonder of it all.

I, for some reason, often dreamed of eating shelled peanuts. Perhaps I wanted something to crunch and chew rather than the soft watery food that we got.  I also dreamed of taking a bath and brushing my teeth. For the two years that I was in prison I did not bathe or change clothes. Since I had no family near by to help me, I had nothing except what I had with me when I was taken prisoner or had been given to me by others. When I came to prison I fortunately was wearing long underwear, which I was able to keep.  In the summer when it got so hot I was able to make a loincloth from a towel. I still have this loincloth to remind me of what I survived.